i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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