We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
