two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
