I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
