This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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