honey bunches of taint.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
