we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
