So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
