I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
