return my video game
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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