dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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