oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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