please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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