I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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