omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm always down for nudity.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
