Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
