I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
do herpes really smell.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
