I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
