I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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