Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
