I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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