You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
