I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
