Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
