whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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