im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
