fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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