Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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