I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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