How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
