I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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