Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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