we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
