Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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