4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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