we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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