Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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