my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
