I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
