Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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