getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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