So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
