there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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