No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
