how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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