apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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