At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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