and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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