oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm always down for nudity.
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