There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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