The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No...this little piggys going to the bar
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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