did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
