Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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