trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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